Do you ever feel like getting something printed is a fight? Maybe, it actually is. Do you think your computer and printer have these discussions?

Internal Debate
by Streeter Seidell at Collegehumor.com
Computer: Monitor, display this document, ok?
Monitor: No prob, boss.
Computer: OK, now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly?
Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.
Computer: Great, great. OK, Mouse, where are you going now?
Mouse: Over to the icon panel, sir.
Computer: Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, OK?
Mouse: Of course.
Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed control and P simultaneously.
Monitor: Oh God, here we go.
Computer: i>sighs Printer, are you there?
Printer: No.
Computer: Please, Printer. I know you're there.
Printer: NO! I'm not here! Leave me alone!
Computer: Jesus. OK look, you really ne…
Mouse: Sir, he's clicked on the printer icon.
Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.
Printer: NO! NO! NO! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!
Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.
Printer: NO! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!
Computer: You're not out of in…
Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!
Computer: span style="font-style: italic;">Sighs Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.
Monitor: But sir, he has plen…
Computer: Just do it, damn it!
Monitor: Yes sir.
Keyboard: AHHH! He's hitting me!
Computer: Stay calm, he'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.
Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!
Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now?! Do you see what you've done?!
Printer: HA! that's what you get for trying to get me to do work. Next time he…hey…HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh my god! He's torn out my cartridge! HELP! Please! ERROR!
Monitor: Sir, maybe we should help him?
Computer: No. He did this to himself.
Whether you are using a business or a
personal printer, sometimes you might run into different issues that
can cause the printer to no longer function. This can be frustrating,
and it can sometimes be daunting to try to determine where the problem
is coming from. A variety of printer problems can occur from a simple
paper jam or unclear print results, to the printer completely not
working at all. If you're installing a brand new printer, it is a good
idea to look for various printer problems and solutions directly from
the manufacturer's website or owner's manual.
Often, troubleshooting
printer problems is as simple as reading the manual that comes with it.
A driver might not be installed properly. First, make sure your
printer's driver is installed completely and that your computer
recognizes the printer. If the driver is in fact installed, try to
print a test page. This usually gets the printer to "wake up" and begin
the printing process. If you have a paper jam, gently open up the
printer and look for the source of the problem. Never jerk, pull, or
yank the paper out, but instead slowly try to get it to come out by
pulling it gently and methodically.
Many times, a printer
problem is related to the quality of the print job itself. If a print
job comes out smeared or faded it could be a number of different
things. Check your printer's ink levels and make sure they are up to
par. Your printer may alert you if the ink cartridges are getting low,
but not all models will do this so you may need to manually check. If
the ink levels look good, try to clean the print heads. Most new
printer models have a feature that allows you to select this option
from the printer's main menu. It will then go through the process of
cleaning the print heads, resulting in clearer printouts. When
troubleshooting printer problems, make sure you are selecting options
that match your own make and model to ensure you can fix the printer
problem easily and safely.